Age. The new black.

Age.  The new black.

   A deep throbbing bone ache drags me from my sleep.   I squeeze my hands alternately, massaging the sensitive muscle tissue, smoothing out the tender flesh.   Dad would say I’ve got the screws.    In my youth, such pain would have made me cry out, and send me scurrying to the nearest doctor for surcease.   Now, it merely confirms that I’m still alive; I can go on for another day smiling and bearing up as if nothing is wrong.   But, nothing is wrong, it’s just my age.   In fact, it’s been my age for thirty-five years, more than half of my life.   I smile, recalling one of Dad’s old jokes:

 Doctor, Doctor, I keep getting these stabbing pains in my left arm.

It’s your age said the Doctor.

But, my right arm is the same age and it’s never felt better! 

I don’t consult a Doctor anymore, no point, they never do anything to help.   You’ve got a Headache?     Take two paracetamol/Avril.    Broken leg?    Take two paracetamol.   Broken heart…   I just cut out the middleman now and take the panacea.

I’ve just collected my repeat prescription for blood pressure tablets, (one advantage of being over sixty in the UK is getting free medication each month), we just take a tablet and get on with living and complaining.    Irbesartan, what kind of a name is that for a medicine?   The names ought to reflect their use with a number and or letter to depict their family, and release number, ‘Blood Pressure D175’, might be more appropriate.   Manic Depressive N06666, Cancer OMG099!   No, maybe I've got it wrong, maybe we shouldn’t know such things.  

They did it on food packaging, the boxes doubled in size, and so do the prices, or the price stay the same and the contents shrink from 500g to 425g:

Ingredients: Potato Starch, Maltodextrin, Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil, Salt, Colour (E150c), Flavourings (contains Celery, Soya, Wheat), Wheatflour, Flavour Enhancers (E621, E635), Emulsifier (E322) (Soya), Spice & Herb Extract.

   In case you’re wondering, on the other side of the drum it just say’s ‘Beef Gravy Granules’ (in 24 point text), with no mention of beef or chicken extract.  Maybe the name should suffice, it did in the past.  In the British Army circa 1964 I remember eating tins of stewed beef with  WD>1945 stamped on them, I pointed it out to the cook.   “Yea we got a job lot at a special rate,” he said.  I wonder if they’ve run out yet; a friend tells me his grandson was eating out of the same WD>1945 cans in the first Iraq conflict.  I think the army is in more danger from field rations than from bullets.

The government has set up a watchdog committee, costing the taxpayer two million pounds a year ($4 million US, and shrinking), to check that we are not being poisoned.   I rely on the old tried and tested method, suck-it-an-see.   If it tastes alright, eat it.  

Have I become a cynic?   When everything you see and hear in the news leads you in that direction, it’s hard to refute; 2+2=4 yes?. 

 Have fun!